Sexy Gym Girls are Sexy

I'm sorry.

This is going to get slightly misogynistic.

I warned you

  Every single day I am confronted by a very serious issue.  And that problem is beautiful women just being beautiful at the gym.  It's no secret that men are hardwired to seek out these lovely potential mates.  However the gym is not your typical Darren Beck establishment and neither of us have enough Coors Light in us to obscure the line between casual conversation and blatant flirting.  Hopefully...  There must be a way to treat these muscular vixens while they get their fitness on.  Let's take a look at these problems and how we as gentlemen can coexist with pretty girls at the gym.

 Problem #1-  You are staring at her.

  Resting between sets, your mind and eyes begin to wander.  Unfortunately your eyes have wandered towards the five foot two inch tall blond in yoga pants and what barely consummates a sports bra doing deep lunges.

I hope she isn't pointing that finger gun at me

And you're caught!

 You play it cool and pretend like you were looking lazily around the room and proceed to hold eye contact with everyone in the gym for just a little too long.  And she'll never know.  Whew!  Crisis averted.

  There isn't a single guy at the gym that hasn't done this at least once.  And to women it really isn't fair.  While you are just trying to move some weight and tone up that posterior chain so you can wear those cute new Buckle jeans you got out on the town with your girlfriends, we are staring at and objectifying your posterior chain. It's rude, disrespectful, and we just can't help it sometimes.  I'm sorry!

  Helpful tip guys- Keep your eyes up and be mindful of where you are looking.  No woman wants to be stared at at the gym.

  

Problem #2-  She likes fitness.  I like fitness.  Maybe I should talk to her and date her.

  I love talking about fitness.  Maybe you've seen my blog?  But the gym is not your own personal live action eHarmony dating site.  There is a time and place to talk about workout programs and opinions on steady state cardio vs HIIT.  The gym is not one of those places.

"Do you Crossfit?  You look like you Crossfit."

  Women come to the gym with one purpose and one purpose only.  To workout.  They don't want to sit and talk to you about their weekend.  They don't care that you just started doing Arnold's arm workout.  They didn't see that Youtube video of Frank Medrano being a freak.

Seriously though.

Helpful tip guys-  Stop talking and start lifting.  If she wants to talk to you let her come to you.  Besides, avoiding her makes you seem more mysterious.  Right?

  

Problem #3-  She is squatting wrong.  I better go teach her how.

  If you do this you are the worst human being in the history of Earth.  You have combined the two worst things to do to a female at the gym, (staring at and communicating with) into one maelstrom of chauvinistic douchebaggery.

Let's break this down.

  1.  You were staring at her while she was squatting.  I thought we talked about this!?

  2.  You are using "teaching" as a way to open a conversation with her.  Hint: They know you are doing that.

  3.  You are assuming you know more about working out than her because she's a girl.

  4.  Chances are the advice you are giving her is verbatim what you saw in an Elliot Hulse Youtube video and you have no actual qualifications to be teaching her or anyone.

  Let me be clear I hate watching people do things "wrong" at the gym.  I've even stepped in when I see guys do this:

It hurts my everything

  But unless you think she is truly going to hurt herself there is no reason to suddenly become an amateur movement coach.

  As a matter of fact what makes you so qualified to teach her how to do "x" exercise?  To assume you know more than her is just plain sexist.  If she is working in the rack chances are she knows just as much about squatting as you do; and what you remember from your high school football coach isn't going to help her any. 

  Helpful tip guys-  She doesn't need or want your help.

  Women can't seem to escape male sexuality, especially at the gym.  On behalf of every gym bro who has oggled you, tried to coach you, flirted with you, or interrupted your workout in any way, I sincerely apologize.  Most of us mean no harm and are just glad you are here.  Guys, show some respect and let women do the same thing you came to the gym to do, workout!

Did I mention I'm sorry?

  

  

Monday Motivation!

Get to it!

Hashtag Woman Crush Wednesday 23 April 2014

Oh my...

If I make eye contact with her I will pee

 Allow me to introduce Jill Coleman.

  Go ahead.  Take a minute.  Jill is a fitness model/trainer/wellness coach/business owner/writer/triathlete/CHRIST HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HER!?

  There isn't a fitness cookie jar that this woman doesn't have her hands in right now. Her beautiful, muscle-y hands...  From being on the cover of such magazines as OnFitness, Fitness & Physique Magazine, and Natural Bodybuilding to owning her own health and wellness brand, JillFit, this woman has it all.  Including a husband.  Yet another missed opportunity for me.

  Her blog is just as stacked as she is with great information on everything from nutrition to relationship advice.  Mrs. (still hurts to say it) Coleman includes some great workout programming in her blog that would benefit anyone of any fitness level.  Jill's passion for living healthy and positivity is infectious in her writing and is a true pleasure to read.

But don't trust me!  I'm just some guy on the internet!

Be sure to check out her blog and to wipe the drool off your keyboard when you are done!

:Heavy Breathing:

With good health and strong hamstrings,

Mike

  

I'm on Google+ because Xanga seemed a little elitist

  Have you ever been sitting in your dad's basement reading fitness articles at 2 o'clock in the morning, avoiding that reflection paper I have to write for my Diversity in America class that is due next week and thought to yourself, "Hey, I could write a fitness blog!"  No?  Yeah, maybe a little too specific. 

  But for times sake let's pretend you have had that same sad experience.  And let's say you are so lucky as to have a very loving and supportive group of friends and family members that always encouraged you to do whatever it is you want to do.  Unless that thing you want to do is to become an active volcano.  Thanks mom.

I could have been someone, mom

  Well of course that would lead you to write a fitness blog on an almost completely irrelevant blog site.

^Previously mentioned irrelevant blog site 



  But since it's the only thing I know of it will have to do.  And while you are here I might as well extrapolate in excruciating detail my story, and how I have come to write about fitness and all things related.

  Being completely honest, I am pretty new to the fitness world.  I often get asked when at the gym, "What did you play in high school?  Football?  Did you wrestle?"  I love relish this question.  Only because I'm so narcissistic that I think my reply is hysterical.  And my reply is ALWAYS, "the saxophone."

Every bros reaction

  I'm actually still laughing to myself about that one.  But it is true.  I was not involved in organized sports after middle school.  I was too busy with choir, band, jazz band, all-state auditions, theater rehearsals.  If you look at that sentence carefully it actually says, "I was too busy being a nerd."

  And it gets worse. 

After I graduated from high school, I went on to major in being a nerd saxophone performance at the University of Northern Iowa.  This was a wonderful opportunity for me to learn about my passion at a school that allowed me to develop my own voice as a young musician.

Buuuuuut I didn't.

  My first attempt at college was more of an opportunity for me to eat lots of pizza rolls and develop my own affinity for Keystone Light.  Advisers always warn you about the "freshmen fifteen."  However they don't warn you that it isn't limited to fifteen pounds or your freshmen year.

I had a girlfriend then too.  Shame on her.

  I never said it was pretty.  I was 5 feet 9 inches short and weighed 190 lbs.  After two years of looking like that, and feeling even worse about it, I did what any lost 20 year old would do. I joined the Iowa National Guard.  Basic training is where my fitness journey really began.  It's a lot like a game of Candy Land really.  Except there is no candy because your meal plan limits your carbohydrate intake.  And instead of rainbow colored paths and bright inviting characters there was a lot of running, push ups, and big, scary drill sergeants yelling at me.  Just imagine Candy Land as a movie directed by David Fincher.

  By the time I graduated Basic Training I had lost 25 pounds and no longer looked like Gloppy the Molasses Monster's younger brother who pledged Sigma Alpha Epsilon.  (Seriously?  More Candy Land jokes?)  I had even put on a little muscle!

  I came home and found a gym immediately. Taking  the small amount of fitness knowledge I had acquired at Basic Training, I began to push myself physically.

  Glossing over the past five years of my fitness journey like a Rocky training montage, we arrive at where I am today with fitness.  Fitness has become a passion and a staple to my everyday life.  Ask anyone of my friends or read my Facebook posts and you are sure to be annoyed with how much I talk about fitness/working out.  I do this because it is a passion I want to share with everyone.  

  

  This blog is a stepping stone for me in becoming a fitness professional.  I am by no means a fitness professional yet.  I am even less of a professional writer!  (Just ask my community college Composition II professor)  So please bear with me as I grow as a fitness professional and a writer.  And by no means should you take what I have to say as gold.  I encourage you to read what I have to say, post hurtful comments about my poor writing skillz, and learn whatever you can about living a happier, healthier life.

With good health and strong hamstrings,

Mike