About a year ago I was trying to figure out what kind of person I was. I wrestled with the ideas and things that I found to be important and hold the most value. I assembled these ideas into a list of rules to live by. The list was extensive, including over 50 rules that I thought were important to my own happiness. After revisiting that list I have decided to reevaluate and share that list and my reasoning behind each rule. I plan to do this over a series of entries in the weeks and months to come. I am sharing these not only because I'm super arrogant and am living a better life than you and think I can tell you how to live your life, but also as an exercise in self-reflection.
1. Allow yourself to experience every emotion and every feeling you have, good or bad.
I'm a bit of an oddball as a male. I have never had any problem understanding, expressing, and sharing my feelings. While many men seem to bottle up and hide how they feel, I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I believe this is central to who I am as a person and has shaped me in every way. Every day we go through a range of emotions. From happy to sad and back again our feelings are in constant flux.
Where people seem to miss the point of connecting with those feelings. We get upset over a bad day at work, stress from school, and any number of things. I see so many people who don't step back to truly understand WHY they are feeling that way. Most people will take a bad day and be sad or angry and fall into a spiraling pit of emotions that will affect their daily lives.
It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be angry.
That took me a long time to realize. Once you embrace, accept, and understand that sometimes you just need to cry it out, the good days get that much better. Not every day is perfect and once you learn to live with those harder feelings life becomes so much more enjoyable.
2. Know something about a lot of different things.
I have always loved the idea of the Renaissance Man, or the man for all seasons. The idea was that a true gentlemanly man was well rounded. He could speak several languages, play a musical instrument, he studied sciences, philosophy, and wrote poetry. While it is somewhat romanticized, I believe the same idea can apply to our own knowledge and interests.
Fitness is my biggest passion. However I don't spend hours every single day reading and studying fitness. I pursue several different areas of intellectual interest. Anything from astronomy to politics. And I believe this basic knowledge has made me a more rounded person.
Once you step outside of what you already know, that is when you begin to grow as a person.
There is something beautiful to me about seeking knowledge. And if you are only sticking to one field you can never see or begin to understand someone else's opinion.
3. Love everyone
Hippie alert! I know it sounds like poorly written 60s music lyrics, but I believe loving all people for who they are is one of the bravest things we can do.
Today there is an "us versus them" mentality everywhere you go. Liberals vs conservatives, whites vs blacks, gays vs straights, Muslims vs Christians, rich vs poor. You get the idea. There is something we all forget all too often.
We are all people.
Everyone comes from somewhere or someone or something different. Our lives and upbringing and current situation may be nothing alike. But once you step back and see in front of you a human person, not someone who is different from you but someone who has hopes and dreams and fears and family and friends just like you, you can begin to love them for who they are.
4. Don't be a dick.
This kind of goes back to rule 3. Everyone has something going on in their life. Whether they are struggling financially, maybe their mother just died, maybe they just lost their job and don't know how they are going to provide for their family. The fact of the matter is life is hard for everyone.
There is no reason for you to make it harder on them in any capacity.
Being a dick is simply being selfish. When you place your wants or needs above someone else you are a dick. If we could step back and try to understand what someone else is going through then maybe we can start to love everyone a little bit more. If we respect each other then there is no reason why we can't help each other ride this crazy roller coaster of life.
5. Find something or someone you love and give it/them your everything.
Rule 5 plays hand in hand with the idea that you get out of something what you put into it. I've learned that my best experiences and my best relationships, romantic or otherwise, are the ones that I invest the most into. Once you invest into something you love, the payouts are nothing but amazing.
This can be scary at first.
Self doubt is the only thing stopping you from doing this. The fears of, "What happens if it doesn't work out," or "what if I don't succeed?" What if, what if, what if!? Our fears keep us from taking that chance and going after something that deep down we know we want. So, stop being afraid and take that chance. Once you have invested yourself in whatever it is you love and want then you can step back and ask the right "what if" question.
What if I never would have?
Something, something, Robert Frost, the road less traveled.
With good health and strong hamstrings,
Mike
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